Friday, September 27, 2013

It is hard enough being a working mom, you don't have to make it worse.



I remember the first time Bella went down with fever. She was around 5-6 months, methinks.

Hubby and I were so naïve; we found out that she had a temperature in the middle of the night and quickly dressed ourselves and head to the Emergency Room in Hospital Kemaman.

Back then the only thing we knew was if babies got a fever, it should not be prolonged and needs immediate attention. So it was fair enough to be freaked out. Heheh.

I remember the medical officer telling us not to hasten to the Emergency Room next time, just make sure that we have fever medication administered to her and keep her temperature low.We always had fever medication for her ever since. Also Koolfever (that thing really works!).
 
Oh well, that is one of the fun part of learning to be a parent.

A few days ago Bella was down with fever again. It always started the same way, at the middle of the night with quite a temperature. And then the cough came, that deep and hollow coughing sound. I hate that sound, it seems like she is in a lot of pain. Huhu.

As usual the next day I had to take Emergency Leave to attend to her. Funny thing is everytime it happens I find myself texting the same sentences to my boss:

“Morning Ms Boss. Last night my daughter caught fever and today I need to take EL. Thanks”.

I swear it always began with a “last night” and “today”. I just hope that she does not think that I am making up the same story just to get a day off. Haha.

Speaking of taking Emergency Leaves to attend to my child – well, I’d always opt for that. I mean I have to admit that sometimes the “serba salah” feeling is there (that is the “torn” feeling). Especially when there is a meeting or training on that particular day, or something important that needs to be done.

I know that my child should come first. That feeling, it is not to say that I want to put work ahead of my child’s need, but work is also a responsibility, and sometimes, I can’t help but to weigh the needs when it is required to. 

Well, most of the time I always let my child’s needs win; even though sometimes the fever did not come anymore and she was all OK and healthy the next day. I am just glad that I chose to be there to confirm and witness it myself. For all I know, she is all bouncy again because I was there with her.

The point is, it's not easy to make that choice. Out of responsibility I weigh the options, even though I know I will always let my child win.

It is always hard to be a working mom and wanting to be there all of the time for our child. Given the choice we always choose our child first, but in the back of our minds we know that we also have a certain responsibility to work. It’s not fair to say that we should not think of it at all when we chose not to go to work that day, because due to our actions, some people may be affected and it is not nice to trouble people. Choosing to let it happen anyway is hard enough, because we are not the kind of people who just signed an amanah (trust) and simply feel happy to break it. Not to mention some of us who had to endure unsupportive peers and superiors.

So, to those SAHM-Nazis who love to judge us working moms, how about you pray that things become easier for us to finally quit our job and take care of our children full time. We, for sure appreciate that instead of you preaching things we already know and make us feel even worse.

5 comments:

Jayna Jayla said...

agreed!!!!they shudn't judge us, working moms..it shows dat, we can do multiple jobs despite of normally works at office and home..SAHM also do mistakes when they look after their kids at home..we r human!!!so, never put ur self (dedicated to SAHM) as a noble person..please respect the others please!!!!hehehhe..really annoyed with their statements...mommy confensionals, lets be proud of ourself, working moms..yippie!!!yeah!!!

Adeshi said...

I am not a mommy yet but I am also annoyed when SAHM makes a statement like they are all angels and Working mums are all devil. For me, u have to be the role model for your child, show them your hardwork, they will eventually understand the sacrifice and they learn to appreciate you even more. Living on other people's money is not my choice for life..and I would rather contribute to the household rather than getting feed 100% by anyone. Talk about being independent and responsible - thats part of the value that we can show the kids. Good luck for u and I pray for the best for you and family. Salam :)

Atikah Honeybee said...

totally agree with u..working is also amanah that we carry. feeling guilty towards colleague is alwiz happen. luckily my husband working shift so sometime when my daughter not feeling well, he can take care and i need to go to work..
not a happy feeling sbb tak boleh stay with the daughter but i dont have much choice.
so to SAHM, dont judge us. We also trying to be the best to our child.
Ingat senang ke nak let somebody to take care our child. Kalau laki i millionaire, i also no need to work lah...

Mama Haraz said...

Interestingly studies have found that working mums are much happier and have more compassionate relationship with their children :) Stop beating yourself about it, you're doing great!

Ayuni Ayatillah said...

Thank for your comments ladies. Gotta agree that regardless of what kind of moms we are (working ke, duk rumah ke, etc) we should always support each other instead of putting blames.

Kudos to all moms out there! :)

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