Why having a maid is such a big deal to me.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

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I have been thinking a lot about getting a full time domestic help or a maid lately.

It’s not that I am going to have anyone in the near future, but as I think ahead I see some possible situations that require me to have another pair of extra hands especially if I am still employed.

I am not sure whether I have said this before, but I am quite a private person when it comes to my family affairs. So certainly, having a stranger who lives together under the same roof does not tickle my fancy.

What’s more, I am a strong believer in nurturing my own family myself – I always prefer that my family eats from my own cooking, and my children learn from my own teaching and such.

Sometimes it sounds too ideal even to me. It’s like I am trying to live the perfect mom character that exists only in fiction.

But reality says that such character does not exist, that at one point even the most resilient mom needs extra help, and the relieve that it brings is just liberating.

Having a maid in the family has its own perks, I admit that. 

How lovely would it be to have someone cleaning up after the mess in the kitchen, and doing the laundry? 

How liberating would it be to have someone who can make sure the floors are spotless and the toilets shine each and every day? 

And how convenient would it be to have someone whom you can leave your child to while you hit the gym for a workout or when you just want to enjoy a cup of coffee on your own?

To be honest, I can’t say no to that.

But as I think and weigh my options, I could not help but think of these…

Am I going to let my family be too reliant on these extra pair of hands? What happens when the maid needs to leave eventually? Can we survive that?

Am I able to teach my children the meaning of hardship and efforts when I know even I myself could not resist leaving the “hard and inconvenient” things to the maid’s hands?

Am I going to let the maid take my children to the playground every time? Is she going the one who is always there for my children instead of me?

Am I going to complaint if my child is more attached to the maid than me?

Am I going to dislike it if the maid brags to her peers that my child loves her so much?

Am I going to let my family be the “diva” that always has someone to “order” to get things done? With that how do I make sure that humility and respect still get to survive (after all maids are human beings too)?

Am I going to let my family and I get comfortable with such a life?

These things bother me. Maybe I think too much, but then am I wrong to come and think of it?

I have come across many instances that brought me to those thoughts. 

Every afternoon when I take Bella for a stroll I try to look for my neighbours so that I can get to know them. Alas, most of the time the kids are out with the maids watching over and playing with them at the playground.

Some of my colleagues who are used to having maids at home don’t even have the decency to clean up after their own mess in the pantry, even when it is just as little as a sugar spill or one dirty cup. I understand that there is a cleaning lady to do the cleaning, but you know…. (well, I hope you know what I mean).

Sometimes when we go out during the weekend, I can’t help but notice children who were so bossy and ordering their maids to do this and that. I do not want those traits in my children.

A friend’s family went so out of control when their maid ran away, he ended up jeopardizing his health and focus at work.

I am in a dilemma.

In one hand, I want those extra pair of hands. But on the other, I am not sure if I am able to be in control.

Like I said, I don’t deny the convenience. But I cannot ignore the downsides either.

Perhaps it’s a matter of principles. Which is why some families are all OK with having a maid, and some are not.

Whatever it is for me in the future, I must be ready to draw the line.

Or while I still can, I’ll just put it as a very last option.

How about you? Are you comfortable having a fulltime maid living with your family? If yes how do you stay in control? What are your principles?

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