Monday, February 04, 2013

On how mothers do not have any more time for themselves.


Last week my company organized this interesting health talk about Breast Cancer. In case you are wondering, my company and its current MD is very pro HSE and these kinds of talks are held regularly for the staffs, which is actually not bad and very insightful.

The talk was delivered by a Professor from PPUKM, a lady professor (i forgot the name! Iskk!), who is also a surgeon who leads a Breast unit team - something to do with handling all the breast cancer cases admitted to their hospital.

So anyway, what I admire about the prof is one thing, that she is very compassionate towards her breast cancer patients, and very supportive. She is the kind of doctor who has this passion going on, most probably at helping her patients get better and being honest about it. Like the kind of doctors that you see in Greys Anatomy.

From the way that she told her stories she has this kind of compassion and concern towards her patients who are especially mothers, and during her nearly 2 hours of talk I remember one statement from her very clearly.

Something that went like this:


"The problem is that these women and mothers just does not have time for themselves, even though they already found out that there is a lump in the breast. They do not have the time and support needed for a checkup. And when they are diagnosed, I saw these women does not receive any kind of support from the husband and kids that is equivalent to the love and care that she has always been giving to the family. Mothers are the pillar of the family, and when the mom is sick it will affect the well-being of the whole family"


And it hits me ; how true that statement was.

Mothers it seems, have no time for themselves. All the time she has is always for the family, and she tends to put herself as the last priority. And yes, even though when she suspects that she has lumps in her breast and most probably diagnosed with breast cancer. Even though it is very clear that she is not in a good condition.

I guess that's just the way mothers work. Kind of like a standard operating procedure.  

But then, can we afford to be that way? Isn’t if actually selfish to kind of put ourselves as a last priority, especially when we know that the problems that we have can lead to a bigger problem to the family later, when we are no longer able to function as the pillar of the family and continue to provide our endless love, compassion and care?

Yes, it is not easy being a mother. Having to make sure that you are fit enough to keep the rest of the family fit and functioning. Taking care of our own self AND the rest of the people that we love. In fact being fit and functional IS part of the big responsibility we carry as a mother.

I guess that is why mothers are put into a very high place even by God Himself. And also a lot more reason why we should treat our own mothers the way He intended us to; with the equivalent (if not more) love, compassion and care.

Footnote:
Ever since the day I held my newborn, I have never looked at my mom the same again. Each time I endure a test of raising my own child, I wonder how my mom managed to raise my 3 siblings and I. It just blows my mind at how she managed. When I asked her how she did it, just one word to sum it all: Patience.

3 comments:

ishamizu said...

Yes, i always think that 24hours are not enough for me now hehe. Susah betul nak cari masa untuk diri sendiri..tapi kene bersabar especially kt London ni tade siapa nak minta tolong tengok2 kan ank2 klu kita nak pergi pamper diri sendiri..hehe kecuali klu husband i sanggup jaga ank2 n gimme greenlight to go out. :)

idoublera said...

great post babe!

but no matter what,sometimes i will take a time-out from kids & husband just to get some sanity + be with myself,lepas daritu i notice i am a better mom heh. we're just human afterall.

a good family support is crucial!!! couldnt agree more w the prof.

you're an awesome mom to beautiful kids yunayuni :)

Ayuni Ayatillah said...

Izu: Aww tulah. Kadang2 I kagum pk macamana sahabat2 yang tinggal overseas juggle their time, especially masa perlukan extra help. But then I rasa you all must have worked around it. It may not be easy but you seem to manage. So kudos to that! :)

Irra: Thanks dear :) I gotta agree with you too. I do take some time off for myself once in a while, kind of like recharging myself. Sekejap pun jadilah, like a few hours of eating ice cream and a facial or just some window shopping. Even pegi grocery shopping sorang2 pun I dah happy. LOL. Anything to keep the sanity, true indeed!

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