On making a life changing decision.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

There has been a lot of things going on in my mind these days, but as of this moment I am glad that I have cleared things off.

Remember in my previous post, I was saying that I will be getting a new job this year? Well, I was job hunting since last January, and my target was to move on to a new field, something that is not related to what I am doing right now.

Apparently, it was not that easy.

I have submitted countless resumes to various jobs that I am interested in, but to no avail. Can't blame them though, I do not have any strong background in that particular field, so maybe most of the time I was not even considered in the first place.

Part of the reason I was looking for a new job is because I think that I want to move back to KL, since my hubby will be starting his new job in Kota Bharu, on a 7-days-work, 7-days-off basis soon. I felt like I am better off living in KL near my parents and in-laws, it will be especially practical during hubby's absence.

My mom advised me to apply for an IT job in KL, since changing to a new field is too hard. At least I get a chance to move to KL first, then maybe I can move on from there. So, i applied for one of the big-4 auditing company in Bandar Utama.

I got lucky. They called me not long after I submitted my resume, probably because I have a very strong resume and I did my internship with the company back in 2005. I was called for an 2 interviews so far. Now I am just waiting for the verdict, whether they are offering me the job or not.

But...this is where the dilemma came in. In choosing a new job, I had to consider two things : My family time, and my financial status.

I did some background homework on the big-4 company which I have applied, and most of the feedbacks are not so interesting. There is a high probability that I have to travel a lot, and the work load may be higher and more demanding. Compared to staying in my current company, it is wayyyy different.

At first things are so blurry, I felt like I really HAVE to move to KL. By hook or by crook. But after a while of deep thoughts and lots of prayers, Alhamdulillah I am now able to make a decision.

So, what is it? I think I am going to stay. At least just for now. Why? Because I know what i really want now. I actually do not want to compromise my time with my family and my child especially. To achieve this, I am willing to compromise my job. That's it. Plus, financial-wise it is better to stay (the company's pay and benefits are not bad actually), and I will not be burdened with a new debt to pay my PETRONAS bond for breaching the contract (I still have 5 more years to serve my bond).

Now I feel more relieved.

It took a while for me to realize that when we know what we really want, making a decision is way much easier. Sometimes due to current circumstances we may have a vague perspective of what we want in life, but in making a big decision it is always better to spend as much time as possible to think it through.

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